This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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