Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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