Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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