quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
