They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
