They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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