I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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