its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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