i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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