I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
