Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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