their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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