AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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