KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
