i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
