I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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