i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize