how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
