I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
