Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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