we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
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If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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