So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
