hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
