why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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