You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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