Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize