when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize