I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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