I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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