Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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(410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight. http://tfl.nu/1lc5

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(416): View more from Ontario

He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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(416): He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/3lsk

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(517): View more from Michigan

On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out

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(517): On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out http://tfl.nu/qemu

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(770): View more from Georgia

That's cool how's he been?

(404): View more from Georgia

He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.

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(770): That's cool how's he been? (404): He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much. http://tfl.nu/1kie

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(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

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(330): I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai... http://tfl.nu/9xr9

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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(787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...

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(978): Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die... http://tfl.nu/7pmw

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(305): View more from Florida

Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!

(216): View more from Ohio

Look at your life. Look at your choices.

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(305): Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up! (216): Look at your life. Look at your choices. http://tfl.nu/vob0

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!

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(778): I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin! http://tfl.nu/eqwy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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(401): Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool. http://tfl.nu/duy9

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.

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(832): He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass. http://tfl.nu/my94

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(859): View more from Kentucky

and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

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(859): and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass http://tfl.nu/9tah

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just took the cheapest shot in your honor

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(304): I just took the cheapest shot in your honor http://tfl.nu/u3ke

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(316): View more from Kansas

Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.

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(316): Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom. http://tfl.nu/sl0t

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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(615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27

Replies (3) Good night (1496) Bad night (263)

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