He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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