a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
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Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.