You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?