I think i peed on brittanys purse
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.