found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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