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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

  Fav 6 3922 1183

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.

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• (315): View more from New York

  so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.

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