Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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