i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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