Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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