my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
