so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
