i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
