so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They have beer where we have blood.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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