so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
