summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
