where am i from again
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
