whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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