im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
try to milk me bitch
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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