Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
