He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize