Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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