margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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