Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
