Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize