Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
