I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
