I'm drive I can fine osifer
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't deserve a penis
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
