Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
