so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
