she smelled like a LAN party
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
