I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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