She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
